Researchers have been studying approaches to steer the behavior of Large Language Models (LLMs) and build personalized LLMs tailored for various applications. While fine-tuning seems to be a direct solution, it requires substantial computational resources and may significantly affect the utility of the original LLM. Recent endeavors have introduced more lightweight strategies, focusing on extracting ``steering vectors'' to guide the model's output toward desired behaviors by adjusting activations within specific layers of the LLM's transformer architecture. However, such steering vectors are directly extracted from the activations of human preference data and thus often lead to suboptimal results and occasional failures, especially in alignment-related scenarios.In this work, we propose an innovative approach that could produce more effective steering vectors through bi-directional preference optimization. Our method is designed to allow steering vectors to directly influence the generation probability of contrastive human preference data pairs, thereby offering a more precise representation of the target behavior. By carefully adjusting the direction and magnitude of the steering vector, we enabled personalized control over the desired behavior across a spectrum of intensities.Extensive experimentation across various open-ended generation tasks, particularly focusing on steering AI personas, has validated the efficacy of our approach. Moreover, we comprehensively investigate critical alignment-concerning scenarios, such as managing truthfulness, mitigating hallucination, and addressing jailbreaking attacks alongside their respective defenses. Remarkably, our method can still demonstrate outstanding steering effectiveness across these scenarios. Furthermore, we showcase the transferability of our steering vectors across different models/LoRAs and highlight the synergistic benefits of applying multiple vectors simultaneously. These findings significantly broaden the practicality and versatility of our proposed method.